Review: "Fahrenheit 9/11"

Written, produced and directed by Michael Moore

3.5 stars

“Are you being fair about this?”
“No, I’m not fair.”
--Jon Stewart interviewing Michael Moore on Comedy Central's The Daily Show

Fahrenheit 9/11 is the smartest, best executed and purest example of timely filmmaking and political propaganda in years. So many ideologically charged documentaries are regretful examinations of the recent-to-distant past: Hearts and Minds (1974), for instance, bemoaned the acts of the American hand in Vietnam. But Michael Moore takes the format a step further, from lamentation to exhortation, by delivering a film designed to target Americans who feel indifferent about the entire Bush/Iraq debacle and bring them into the light (or in this case, the left) before this year's election. Both films, though, are carried by the same current, an underlying plea from the filmmaker to not let these events, these murders, happen again.

Writing for my college newspaper, I grew quickly tired of explaining to everyone who wasn’t a reporter the difference between a news story and an opinion column (forget the editorial). Basically, a news story is an assemblage of facts with as little bias as possible, ideally none, but an opinion column is a researched, biased composition designed to change feelings, call readers to action, and so on. This is where Moore shines. The sheer tonnage of interviews, B-roll, memos, schedules, reports and home videos he’s obtained and collated to support his point is staggering; if Bowling for Columbine was a cry for justice, Fahrenheit 9/11 is a baseball bat to the (metaphorical) head of Republicans, corrupt businessmen and anyone who thinks the U.S. invasion of Iraq was a solid, well-planned idea.

Moore’s point is: Iraq was demolished for personal reasons inside the Bush administration, itself a family with long-running and substantially shady connections to Saudi potentates and conglomerates. Although forcing President George W. Bush to shoulder the blame for several decades of foolish American foreign policy is both unfair and unachievable, Moore’s film paints an unflattering look at the president (thanks in large part to countless public speaking gaffs) as a simple man who, with the aid of family and friends, engineered his rise to the oval office and subsequent semi-related attacks on Iraq in the form of invasion and on the American people in the form of the USA Patriot Act and generally reduced freedoms and edgy populace.

The film opens with our cast of characters being groomed and prepped for camera, an unsettling doppelganger to the opening of Wes Anderson's The Royal Tenenbaums (2001). President Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney, Secretary of State Colin Powell, National Security Advisor Condoleeza Rice, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz and Attorney General John Ashcroft are powdered, preened and primed for the show's performance, which is what Moore stages everything to be: an elaborate performance by the Bush administration to dupe the American people by withholding information from them or deceiving them outright.

Moore’s film, although an achievement in documentaries (however loosely the term is used), is still fairly predictable. The film will certainly inflame Bush’s supporters and receive praise from Kerry’s camp and the large majority of Americans who disagree with both parties but find the war an exercise in imperialism and/or self-genocide.

It doesn't help matters that Moore is beyond smug about all this. Rather than silently heap coals over his enemies' foreheads, he peppers the film with outright insults at Bush and other administration members. Particularly unflattering is a montage of Bush at his Crawford, Texas, ranch in the months leading up to Sept. 11, 2001, playing golf to "Vacation" by the Go-Go's. Compared to Columbine, however, Fahrenheit 9/11 is a model of restraint and solemn civility. There is only one stereotypically Moorean sequence here, in which the filmmaker wanders around Capitol Hill attempting to persuade members of Congress to enlist ther children for military service. Mostly, Moore lets the footage speak for itself. A ride-along with American soldiers in Iraq is intercut with a series of interviews with a woman and her family in Flint, Mich., Moore's hometown. The woman's son was sent to Iraq, and she turned from lifelong military supporter to confused victim after receiving first letters from her son about the inanity of his being in Iraq, and days later a phone call that told her her son had been killed. Moore is smart enough not to step on the natural tragedy here; the young man's random death does more to bolster Moore's claims and agitate the country's growing annoyance with Bush than any extremist Garofalo-like espousals he could hope to create.

Fahrenheit 9/11 makes plenty of accusations, but it raises even more questions about our country's stability and purpose in Iraq. I enjoyed the film, and was reminded throughout how lucky Moore is to live in a country that lets you make a movie mocking the president and asking us to take responsibility for the disastrous consequences of our often poor choices. With the presidential election only a season away, I can't think of a better way to celebrate the freedoms we all take for granted.

Every Movie I Have Ever Seen*, Listed Pretty Much Alphabetically**

*I'm pretty sure the list is complete, or anyway it's as complete as I can make it. After scouring archives, databases and jotting down films when I remember them, I've arrived at this.
**Any errors in arrangement are the sole responsibility of the sick freak who actually went to the effort of putting this list together, and in the face of such a daunting/almost admirable task you should show a little respect and grammatical latitude.


1. About a Boy (2002)
2. About Schmidt (2002)
3. Abre los ojos (1997) (Open Your Eyes)
4. Absent Minded Professor, The (1961)
5. Absolute Power (1997)
6. Abyss, The (1989)
7. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)
8. Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995)
9. Adaptation. (2002)
10. Addams Family Values (1993)
11. Addams Family, The (1991)
12. Adventures in Babysitting (1987)
13. Adventures of Huck Finn, The (1993)
14. Adventures of Milo and Otis, The (1986)
15. Adventures of Robin Hood, The (1938)
16. African Queen, The (1951)
17. Air Force One (1997)
18. Airborne (1993)
19. Airheads (1994)
20. Aladdin (1992)
21. Alice in Wonderland (1951)
22. Alien (1979)
23. Alien: Resurrection (1997)
24. Aliens (1986)
25. Alien3 (1992)
26. All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989)
27. All I Want for Christmas (1991)
28. All the President's Men (1976)
29. Almost Famous (2000)
30. Along Came Polly (2004)
31. Always (1989)
32. Amadeus (1984)
33. Amelie (2002)
34. American Beauty (1999)
35. American Graffiti (1973)
36. American History X (1998)
37. American Pie (1999)
38. American Pie 2 (2001)
39. American President, The (1995)
40. American Psycho (2000)
41. American Splendor (2003)
42. American Tail, An (1986)
43. American Tail: Fievel Goes West, An (1991)
44. Amores perros (2000) (Love’s a Bitch)
45. Analyze This (1999)
46. Andromeda Strain, The (1971)
47. Angels in the Outfield (1994)
48. Angus (1995)
49. Animal House (1978)
50. Annie (1982)
51. Annie Hall (1977)
52. Apocalypse Now (1979)
53. Apollo 13 (1995)
54. Apostle, The (1997)
55. Arachnophobia (1990)
56. Aristocats, The (1970)
57. Arlington Road (1999)
58. Armageddon (1998)
59. Army of Darkness (1993)
60. Art of War, The (2000)
61. Artificial Intelligence: AI (2001)
62. As Good As It Gets (1997)
63. Assassins (1995)
64. Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)
65. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
66. Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
67. Awakenings (1990)
68. Babe (1995)
69. Babes in Toyland (1961)
70. Back to the Future (1985)
71. Back to the Future Part II (1989)
72. Back to the Future Part III (1990)
73. Backdraft (1991)
74. Bambi (1942)
75. Bandits (2001)
76. BASEketball (1998)
77. Basic Instinct (1992)
78. Batman & Robin (1997)
79. Batman (1966)
80. Batman (1989)
81. Batman Forever (1995)
82. Batman Returns (1992)
83. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993)
84. Beautiful Mind, A (2001)
85. Beauty and the Beast (1991)
86. Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971)
87. Beetlejuice (1988)
88. Being John Malkovich (1999)
89. Best in Show (2000)
90. Better Luck Tomorrow (2002)
91. Beverly Hillbillies, The (1993)
92. Big (1988)
93. Big Bounce, The (2004)
94. Big Chill, The (1983)
95. Big Daddy (1999)
96. Big Fish (2003)
97. Big Lebowski, The (1998)
98. Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey (1991)
99. Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)
100. Billy Elliot (2000)
101. Billy Madison (1995)
102. Bio-Dome (1996)
103. Birdcage, The (1996)
104. Black Hawk Down (2001)
105. Black Hole, The (1979)
106. Black Sheep (1996)
107. Blade Runner (1982)
108. Blair Witch Project, The (1999)
109. Blank Check (1994)
110. Blazing Saddles (1974)
111. Blown Away (1994)
112. Blue Velvet (1986)
113. Blues Brothers 2000 (1998)
114. Blues Brothers, The (1980)
115. Body Heat (1981)
116. Bone Collector, The (1999)
117. Boogie Nights (1997)
118. Bordello of Blood (1996)
119. Bottle Rocket (1996)
120. Bound (1996)
121. Bourne Identity, The (2002)
122. Bowfinger (1999)
123. Bowling for Columbine (2002)
124. Brady Bunch Movie, The (1995)
125. Brave Little Toaster, The (1987)
126. Braveheart (1995)
127. Breakfast Club, The (1985)
128. Breaking the Waves (1996)
129. Bride of Chucky (1998)
130. Bridget Jones's Diary (2001)
131. Bring It On (2000)
132. Bringing Out the Dead (1999)
133. Broadcast News (1987)
134. Brokedown Palace (1999)
135. Broken Arrow (1996)
136. Brotherhood of the Wolf, The (Le Pacte des loups) (2001)
137. Bruce Almighty (2003)
138. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)
139. Bug's Life, A (1998)
140. Bull Durham (1988)
141. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
142. Butterfly Effect, The (2004)
143. Cable Guy, The (1996)
144. Can't Buy Me Love (1987)
145. Can't Hardly Wait (1998)
146. Candidate, The (1972)
147. Carrie (1976)
148. Casablanca (1942)
149. Casino (1995)
150. Casper (1995)
151. Cast Away (2000)
152. Catch Me If You Can (2002)
153. Celebrity (1998)
154. Cell, The (2000)
155. Chamber, The (1996)
156. Changeling, The (1980)
157. Charade (1963)
158. Chariots of Fire (1981)
159. Charlie's Angels (2000)
160. Charlotte's Web (1973)
161. Chase, The (1994)
162. Chicago (2002)
163. Chicken Run (2000)
164. Child's Play (1988)
165. Child's Play 2 (1990)
166. Child's Play 3 (1991)
167. Chinatown (1974)
168. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968)
169. Chocolat (2000)
170. Christmas Story, A (1983)
171. Cider House Rules, The (1999)
172. Cinderella (1950)
173. Citizen Kane (1941)
174. City of Angels (1998)
175. City Slickers (1991)
176. City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly's Gold (1994)
177. Civil Action, A (1998)
178. Clay Pigeons (1998)
179. Clear and Present Danger (1994)
180. Clerks. (1994)
181. Client, The (1994)
182. Cliffhanger (1993)
183. Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)
184. Clue (1985)
185. Clueless (1994)
186. Cold Mountain (2003)
187. Comedian (2002)
188. Coming to America (1988)
189. Con Air (1997)
190. Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (2002)
191. Confidence (2003)
192. Congo (1995)
193. Conspiracy Theory (1997)
194. Contact (1997)
195. Contender, The (2000)
196. Conversation, The (1974)
197. Cool Hand Luke (1967)
198. Cool Runnings (1993)
199. Cool World (1992)
200. Cop Land (1997)
201. Copycat (1995)
202. Count of Monte Cristo, The (2002)
203. Courage Under Fire (1996)
204. Court Jester, The (1956)
205. Coyote Ugly (2000)
206. Craft, The (1996)
207. Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
208. Crimson Tide (1995)
209. Crocodile Dundee (1986)
210. Cromwell (1970)
211. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
212. Croupier (1998)
213. Crow, The (1994)
214. Cruel Intentions (1999)
215. Cry Freedom (1987)
216. Cube (1997)
217. Cure, The (1995)
218. D.O.A. (1988)
219. D2: The Mighty Ducks (1994)
220. D3: The Mighty Ducks (1996)
221. Dancer, Texas: Pop. 81 (1998)
222. Dances with Wolves (1990)
223. Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys, The (2002)
224. Dante's Peak (1997)
225. Dark City (1998)
226. Dark Crystal, The (1982)
227. Das Boot (1981) (The Boat)
228. Dave (1993)
229. Day After Tomorrow, The (2004
230. Day of the Jackal, The (1973)
231. Day the Earth Stood Still, The (1951)
232. Daylight (1996)
233. Days of Thunder (1990)
234. Dazed and Confused (1993)
235. Dead Again (1991)
236. Dead Man on Campus (1998)
237. Dead Poets’ Society (1989)
238. Deceiver (1997)
239. Deep End, The (2001)
240. Deep Impact (1998)
241. Demolition Man (1993)
242. Dennis the Menace (1993)
243. Desperate Measures (1998)
244. Devil's Advocate, The (1997)
245. Devil's Own, The (1997)
246. Dick Tracy (1990)
247. Die Hard (1988)
248. Die Hard 2 (1990)
249. Die Hard: With a Vengeance (1995)
250. Dirty Dancing (1987)
251. Dirty Pretty Things (2002)
252. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988)
253. Disclosure (1994)
254. Do the Right Thing (1989)
255. Doctor Dolittle (1967)
256. Doctor Dolittle (1998)
257. Doctor Zhivago (1965)
258. Dogma (1999)
259. Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood (1996)
260. Donnie Brasco (1997)
261. Donnie Darko (2001)
262. Doppelganger (1993)
263. Double Indemnity (1944)
264. Double Jeopardy (1999)
265. Double Take (2001)
266. Dr. No (1962)
267. Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
268. Dracula (1931)
269. Dracula (1992)
270. Dragonheart (1996)
271. DuckTales: The Movie - Treasure of the Lost Lamp (1990)
272. Dumb & Dumber (1994)
273. Dumbo (1941)
274. E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
275. Easy Rider (1969)
276. Edtv (1999)
277. Edward Scissorhands (1990)
278. Election (1999)
279. Emperor's New Groove, The (2000)
280. Empire Records (1995)
281. Enemy at the Gates (2001)
282. Enemy Mine (1985)
283. Enemy of the State (1998)
284. English Patient, The (1996)
285. Enigma (2001)
286. Entrapment (1999)
287. Eraser (1996)
288. Erin Brockovich (2000)
289. Ernest Goes to Camp (1987)
290. Ernest Goes to Jail (1990)
291. Ernest Scared Stupid (1991)
292. Escape from New York (1981)
293. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
294. Event Horizon (1997)
295. Executive Decision (1996)
296. eXistenZ (1999)
297. Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
298. Face/Off (1997)
299. Faculty, The (1998)
300. Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004)
301. Fair Game (1995)
302. Fallen (1998)
303. Falling Down (1993)
304. Family Man, The (2000)
305. Family Business (1989)
306. Fantasia (1940)
307. Fantasia 2000 (1999)
308. Far and Away (1992)
309. Far from Heaven (2002)
310. Far Off Place, A (1993)
311. Fargo (1996)
312. Fast and the Furious, The (2001)
313. Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)
314. Father of the Bride (1991)
315. Father of the Bride Part II (1995)
316. FernGully: The Last Rainforest (1992)
317. Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)
318. Few Good Men, A (1992)
319. Fiddler on the Roof (1971)
320. Field of Dreams (1989)
321. Fifth Element, The (1997)
322. Fight Club (1999)
323. Finding Forrester (2000)
324. Finding Nemo (2003)
325. Fire Birds (1990)
326. Firm, The (1993)
327. First Kid (1996)
328. First Knight (1995)
329. Flatliners (1990)
330. Flight of the Navigator (1986)
331. Flintstones, The (1994)
332. Fly, The (1986)
333. Following (1998)
334. Follow Me, Boys! (1966)
335. Footloose (1984)
336. For Love or Money (1993)
337. Forever Young (1992)
338. Forrest Gump (1994)
339. Fox and the Hound, The (1981)
340. Frailty (2001)
341. Free Willy (1993)
342. French Connection, The (1971)
343. Frequency (2000)
344. Fright Night (1985)
345. Frighteners, The (1996)
346. From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)
347. From Hell (2001)
348. Fugitive, The (1993)
349. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
350. G.I. Jane (1997)
351. Game, The (1997)
352. Gandhi (1982)
353. Gangs of New York (2002)
354. Gattaca (1997)
355. General's Daughter, The (1999)
356. Get Shorty (1995)
357. Ghost (1990)
358. Ghostbusters (1984)
359. Ghost World (2000)
360. Ghostbusters II (1989)
361. Ghosts of Mississippi (1996)
362. Gift, The (2000)
363. Gingerbread Man, The (1998)
364. Gladiator (2000)
365. Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)
366. Glory (1989)
367. Go (1999)
368. Godfather, The (1972)
369. Godfather: Part II, The (1974)
370. Gods Must Be Crazy, The (1980)
371. Godzilla (1998)
372. GoldenEye (1995)
373. Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000)
374. Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)
375. Good Will Hunting (1997)
376. Goodbye Girl, The (1977)
377. Goodfellas (1990)
378. Goofy Movie, A (1995)
379. Goonies, The (1985)
380. Gorky Park (1983)
381. Gosford Park (2001)
382. Graduate, The (1967)
383. Grease (1978)
384. Great Escape, The (1963)
385. Great Gatsby, The (1974)
386. Great Mouse Detective, The (1986)
387. Green Mile, The (1999)
388. Gremlins (1984)
389. Groundhog Day (1993)
390. Grumpier Old Men (1995)
391. Grumpy Old Men (1993)
392. Guyver, The (1991)
393. Half Baked (1998)
394. Halloween (1978)
395. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)
396. Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)
397. Hamlet (1996)
398. Hannibal (2001)
399. Hans Christian Andersen (1952)
400. Happy Gilmore (1996)
401. Hard Eight (1996)
402. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)
403. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
404. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)
405. Harvey (1950)
406. Hatari! (1962)
407. Heart and Souls (1993)
408. Heaven's Prisoners (1996)
409. Heavyweights (1995)
410. Hello, Dolly! (1969)
411. Hellfighters (1968)
412. Hellraiser (1987)
413. Henry V (1989)
414. High Fidelity (2000)
415. High Noon (1952)
416. Highlander (1986)
417. Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)
418. Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994)
419. Hobbit, The (1977)
420. Hocus Pocus (1993)
421. Holiday Inn (1942)
422. Hollow Man (2000)
423. Home Alone (1990)
424. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)
425. Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey (1993)
426. Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (1992)
427. Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989)
428. Hook (1991)
429. Hoosiers (1986)
430. Hope Floats (1998)
431. Hot Shots! (1991)
432. Hot Shots! Part Deux (1993)
433. Hours, The (2002)
434. Hunt for Red October, The (1990)
435. Hurlyburly (1998)
436. Hurricane, The (1999)
437. I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)
438. I Love Trouble (1994)
439. I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)
440. I.Q. (1994)
441. Ice Age (2002)
442. Ice Storm, The (1997)
443. Identity (2003)
444. Igby Goes Down (2002)
445. In & Out (1997)
446. In Cold Blood (1967)
447. In Dreams (1999)
448. In the Bedroom (2001)
449. In the Heat of the Night (1967)
450. In the Line of Fire (1993)
451. Indecent Proposal (1993)
452. Independence Day (1996)
453. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
454. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)
455. Insider, The (1999)
456. Insomnia (2002)
457. Interview with the Vampire (1994)
458. Intolerable Cruelty (2003)
459. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)
460. Iron Giant, The (1999)
461. Iron Will (1994)
462. It Could Happen to You (1994)
463. It Happened One Night (1934)
464. It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World (1963)
465. It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
466. Italian Job, The (2003)
467. Jack (1996)
468. Jackal, The (1997)
469. Jackass: The Movie (2002)
470. Jackie Brown (1997)
471. Jaws (1975)
472. JFK (1991)
473. Joe Dirt (2001)
474. Joy Ride (2001)
475. Judge Dredd (1995)
476. Jumanji (1995)
477. Jungle 2 Jungle (1997)
478. Jungle Book, The (1967)
479. Jungle Book, The (1994)
480. Junior (1994)
481. Jurassic Park (1993)
482. Just Cause (1995)
483. Karate Kid, The (1984)
484. Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
485. Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
486. Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)
487. Kindergarten Cop (1990)
488. Kiss the Girls (1997)
489. Knight's Tale, A (2001)
490. Krippendorf's Tribe (1998)
491. Krull (1983)
492. L.A. Confidential (1997)
493. Labyrinth (1986)
494. Ladies Man, The (2000)
495. Lady and the Tramp (1955)
496. Ladyhawke (1985)
497. Land Before Time, The (1988)
498. Lantana (2001)
499. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)
500. Laramie Project, The
501. Last Action Hero (1993)
502. Last of the Mohicans, The (1992)
503. Last Picture Show, The (1971)
504. Last Samurai, The (2003)
505. Last Starfighter, The (1984)
506. League of Their Own, A (1992)
507. Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
508. Legally Blonde (2001)
509. Legend of Bagger Vance, The (2000)
510. Legends of the Fall (1994)
511. Lethal Weapon (1987)
512. Lethal Weapon 2 (1989)
513. Lethal Weapon 3 (1992)
514. Liar Liar (1997)
515. Liberty Heights (1999)
516. Life is Beautiful (1998)
517. Life of David Gale, The (2003)
518. Lilo & Stitch (2002)
519. Limbo (1999)
520. Limey, The (1999)
521. Lion King, The (1994)
522. Little Big League (1994)
523. Little Mermaid, The (1989)
524. Loaded Weapon 1 (1993)
525. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
526. Lolita (1997)
527. Lone Star (1996)
528. Long Kiss Goodnight, The (1996)
529. Look Who's Talking (1989)
530. Look Who's Talking Too (1990)
531. Lord of Illusions (1995)
532. Lord of the Flies (1963)
533. Lord of the Rings, The (1978)
534. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001)
535. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002)
536. Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The (2003)
537. Lost in Space (1998)
538. Lost in Translation (2003)
539. Lost World: Jurassic Park, The (1997)
540. Love Actually (2003)
541. Love Bug, The (1968)
542. Made (2001)
543. Magnolia (1999)
544. Majestic, The (2001)
545. Major League (1989)
546. Major League II (1994)
547. Malice (1993)
548. Mallrats (1995)
549. Man for All Seasons, A (1966)
550. Man from Snowy River, The (1982)
551. Man in the Iron Mask, The (1998)
552. Man of the House (1995)
553. Man on the Moon (1999)
554. Man with the Golden Arm, The (1955)
555. Manchurian Candidate, The (1962)
556. Manhunter (1986)
557. Mark of Zorro, The (1940)
558. Mary Poppins (1964)
559. M*A*S*H (1970)
560. Mask of Zorro, The (1998)
561. Mask, The (1994)
562. Masters of the Universe (1987)
563. Matchstick Men (2003)
564. Matrix Reloaded, The (2003)
565. Matrix Revolutions, The (2003)
566. Matrix, The (1999)
567. Maverick (1994)
568. Meet Joe Black (1998)
569. Meet Me in St. Louis (1944)
570. Meet the Parents (2000)
571. Memento (2000)
572. Memphis Belle (1990)
573. Men in Black (1997)
574. Men in Black II (2002)
575. Men of Honor (2000)
576. Mercury Rising (1998)
577. Mexican, The (2001)
578. Michael (1996)
579. Midnight Clear, A (1992)
580. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil (1997)
581. Mighty Ducks, The (1992)
582. Mighty Wind, A (2003)
583. Miller’s Crossing (1990)
584. Minority Report (2002)
585. Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
586. Misery (1990)
587. Miss Congeniality (2000)
588. Mission, The (1986)
589. Mission: Impossible (1996)
590. Mission: Impossible II (2000)
591. Money Train (1995)
592. Monsoon Wedding (2001)
593. Monster (2003)
594. Monster's Ball (2001)
595. Monsters, Inc. (2001)
596. Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
597. Moonlight Mile (2002)
598. Moonstruck (1987)
599. Mortal Kombat (1995)
600. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)
601. Moulin Rouge! (2001)
602. Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (1936)
603. Mr. Holland's Opus (1995)
604. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
605. Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)
606. Much Ado About Nothing (1993)
607. Mulholland Drive (2001)
608. Mulholland Falls (1996)
609. Multiplicity (1996)
610. Mummy Returns, The (2001)
611. Mummy, The (1999)
612. Muppet Christmas Carol, The (1992)
613. Murder at 1600 (1997)
614. Murder in the First (1995)
615. Music Man, The (1962)
616. My Best Friend's Wedding (1997)
617. My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)
618. My Dog Skip (2000)
619. My Fair Lady (1964)
620. My Girl (1991)
621. Mystic River (2003)
622. Naked Gun, The (1988)
623. Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear, The (1991)
624. Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult (1994)
625. Narrow Margin (1990)
626. Negotiator, The (1998)
627. Net, The (1995)
628. Newsies (1992)
629. Next Karate Kid, The (1994)
630. Nick of Time (1995)
631. Night Falls on Manhattan (1997)
632. Nightmare Before Christmas, The (1993)
633. Nightmare on Elm Street, A (1984)
634. No Escape (1994)
635. North (1994)
636. North by Northwest (1959)
637. Notting Hill (1999)
638. Nutty Professor, The (1996)
639. O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)
640. Ocean's Eleven (1960)
641. Ocean's Eleven (2001)
642. October Sky (1999)
643. Of Mice and Men (1992)
644. Office Space (1999)
645. Oklahoma! (1955)
646. Old School (2003)
647. Old Yeller (1957)
648. Oliver & Company (1988)
649. Oliver! (1968)
650. On the Waterfront (1954)
651. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
652. One Hour Photo (2002)
653. One Hundred and One Dalmatians (1961)
654. Operation Dumbo Drop (1995)
655. Opposite of Sex, The (1998)
656. Ordinary People (1980)
657. Others, The (2001)
658. Out of Sight (1998)
659. Outbreak (1995)
660. Outsiders, The (1983)
661. Palmetto (1998)
662. Panic Room (2002)
663. Paper Chase, The (1973)
664. Parallax View, The (1974)
665. Parent Trap, The (1961)
666. Passion of the Christ, The (2004)
667. Patch Adams (1998)
668. Patriot Games (1992)
669. Patriot, The (2000)
670. Pay It Forward (2000)
671. Payback (1999)
672. PCU (1994)
673. Peacemaker, The (1997)
674. Pearl Harbor (2001)
675. Peggy Sue Got Married (1986)
676. Pelican Brief, The (1993)
677. Perfect Murder, A (1998)
678. Pet Sematary (1989)
679. Peter Pan (1953)
680. Phantom, The (1996)
681. Phantoms (1998)
682. Phenomenon (1996)
683. Philadelphia (1993)
684. Philadelphia Story, The (1940)
685. Phone Booth (2002)
686. Picture Perfect (1997)
687. Pinocchio (1940)
688. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
689. Planet of the Apes (1968)
690. Planet of the Apes (2001)
691. Platoon (1986)
692. Pleasantville (1998)
693. Pollock (2000)
694. Pollyanna (1960)
695. Predator (1987)
696. Predator 2 (1990)
697. Prehysteria! (1993)
698. Pretty Woman (1990)
699. Primal Fear (1996)
700. Primary Colors (1998)
701. Princess Bride, The (1987)
702. Problem Child (1990)
703. Producers, The (1968)
704. Professional, The (1994)
705. Proof of Life (2000)
706. Psycho (1960)
707. Pulp Fiction (1994)
708. Pump Up the Volume (1990)
709. Pure Country (1992)
710. Quiet Man, The (1952)
711. Quills (2000)
712. Quiz Show (1994)
713. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
714. Rain Man (1988)
715. Rainmaker, The (1997)
716. Ransom (1996)
717. Rat Race (2001)
718. Rear Window (1954)
719. Rebel Without a Cause (1955)
720. Red Dragon (2002)
721. Remains of the Day, The (1993)
722. Remember the Titans (2000)
723. Renaissance Man (1994)
724. Requiem for a Dream (2000)
725. Rescuers Down Under, The (1990)
726. Rescuers, The (1977)
727. Reservoir Dogs (1992)
728. Return to Me (2000)
729. Revenge of the Nerds (1984)
730. Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise (1987)
731. Richie Rich (1994)
732. Right Stuff, The (1983)
733. Ring, The (2002)
734. Rising Sun (1993)
735. Risky Business (1983)
736. River Runs Through It, A (1992)
737. River Wild, The (1994)
738. Road to Perdition (2002)
739. Road Trip (2000)
740. Robin Hood (1973)
741. Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)
742. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)
743. RoboCop (1987)
744. Rock, The (1996)
745. Rocketeer, The (1991)
746. Rocky (1976)
747. Rocky Horror Picture Show, The (1975)
748. Roger Dodger (2002)
749. Romeo + Juliet (1996)
750. Romeo and Juliet (1968)
751. Romero (1989)
752. Ronin (1998)
753. Rookie of the Year (1993)
754. Rounders (1998)
755. Royal Tenenbaums, The (2001)
756. Rudy (1993)
757. Rumpelstiltskin (1987)
758. Runaway Jury (2003)
759. Run Silent Run Deep (1958)
760. Runaway Bride (1999)
761. Rushmore (1998)
762. Rush Hour 2 (2001)
763. Saint, The (1997)
764. Sandlot, The (1993)
765. Santa Clause, The (1994)
766. Santa Claus: The Movie (1985)
767. Savannah Smiles (1982)
768. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
769. Saving Silverman (2001)
770. Say Anything... (1989)
771. Scarlet Street (1945)
772. Scary Movie (2000)
773. Scent of a Woman (1992)
774. Schindler's List (1993)
775. School of Rock, The (2003)
776. School Ties (1992)
777. Score, The (2001)
778. Scream (1996)
779. Scream 2 (1997)
780. Scream 3 (2000)
781. Screamers (1995)
782. Scrooged (1988)
783. Se7en (1995)
784. Seabiscuit (2003)
785. Secret Life of Walter Mitty, The (1947)
786. Secret of My Success, The (1987)
787. Secret of NIMH, The (1982)
788. Secret Window (2004)
789. Selena (1997)
790. Serendipity (2001)
791. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954)
792. Seven Days in May (1964)
793. Sex, Lies, and Videotape (1989)
794. Sexy Beast (2000)
795. Sgt. Bilko (1996)
796. Shadow, The (1994)
797. Shakespeare in Love (1998)
798. Shallow Grave (1994)
799. Shanghai Knights (2003)
800. Shanghai Noon (2000)
801. Shawshank Redemption, The (1994)
802. She's All That (1999)
803. Shining, The (1980)
804. Shipwrecked (1991)
805. Showgirls (1995)
806. Shrek (2001)
807. Sidekicks (1992)
808. Siege, The (1998)
809. Signs (2002)
810. Silence of the Lambs, The (1991)
811. Simon Birch (1998)
812. Simple Plan, A (1998)
813. Singin' in the Rain (1952)
814. Sirens (1994)
815. Sister Act (1992)
816. Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993)
817. Six Days Seven Nights (1998)
818. Sixth Sense, The (1999)
819. Skulls, The (2000)
820. Slackers (2002)
821. Sleepers (1996)
822. Sleeping Beauty (1959)
823. Sleeping with the Enemy (1991)
824. Sleepless in Seattle (1993)
825. Sleepy Hollow (1999)
826. Snake Eyes (1998)
827. Snatch (2000)
828. Sneakers (1992)
829. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
830. So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993)
831. Solaris (2002)
832. Solo (1996)
833. Some Like It Hot (1959)
834. Song of the South (1946)
835. Sound of Music, The (1965)
836. South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999)
837. Space Jam (1996)
838. Spaceballs (1987)
839. SpaceCamp (1986)
840. Spaced Invaders (1990)
841. Spanish Prisoner, The (1997)
842. Specialist, The (1994)
843. Species (1995)
844. Speed (1994)
845. Sphere (1998)
846. Spider-Man (2002)
847. Spy Game (2001)
848. St. Elmo's Fire (1985)
849. Stand by Me (1986)
850. Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984)
851. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986)
852. Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)
853. Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991)
854. Star Trek: First Contact (1996)
855. Star Trek: Generations (1994)
856. Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)
857. Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan (1982)
858. Star Wars (1977)
859. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
860. Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
861. Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
862. Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)
863. Stargate (1994)
864. Starship Troopers (1997)
865. Station Agent, The (2003)
866. Stepmom (1998)
867. Sting, The (1973)
868. Stir of Echoes (1999)
869. Street Fighter (1994)
870. Streetcar Named Desire, A (1951)
871. Stripes (1981)
872. Striptease (1996)
873. Suburban Commando (1991)
874. Sudden Death (1995)
875. Suicide Kings (1997)
876. Sullivan’s Travels (1941)
877. Sum of All Fears, The (2002)
878. Summer Magic (1963)
879. Summer of Sam (1999)
880. Summer School (1987)
881. Sunshine (1999)
882. Super Mario Bros. (1993)
883. Superman (1978)
884. Superman II (1980)
885. Superman III (1983)
886. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)
887. Suspect (1987)
888. Sweet Home Alabama (2002)
889. Swimming Pool (2003)
890. Swing Kids (1993)
891. Swingers (1996)
892. Swiss Family Robinson (1960)
893. Switchback (1997)
894. Sword in the Stone, The (1963)
895. Swordfish (2001)
896. Talented Mr. Ripley, The (1999)
897. Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990)
898. Tango & Cash (1989)
899. Tao of Steve, The (2000)
900. Tarzan (1999)
901. Taxi Driver (1976)
902. Teaching Mrs. Tingle (1999)
903. Teen Wolf (1985)
904. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
905. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991)
906. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993)
907. Telling Lies in America (1997)
908. Terminal, The (2004)
909. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
910. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
911. Terminator, The (1984)
912. That Darn Cat (1997)
913. That Darn Cat! (1965)
914. That Thing You Do! (1996)
915. There's Something About Mary (1998)
916. Thin Man, The (1934)
917. Third Man, The (1949)
918. Thirteen (2003)
919. Thirteenth Floor, The (1999)
920. Thoroughly Modern Millie (1967)
921. Three Amigos (1986)
922. Three Days of the Condor (1975)
923. Three Kings (1999)
924. Three Men and a Baby (1987)
925. Three Men and a Little Lady (1990)
926. Three Musketeers, The (1993)
927. Three Seasons (1997)
928. Tigerland (2000)
929. Time to Kill, A (1996)
930. Timecop (1994)
931. Titanic (1997)
932. To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
933. Tom and Huck (1995)
934. Tombstone (1993)
935. Tommy Boy (1995)
936. Top Gun (1986)
937. Top Hat (1935)
938. Total Recall (1990)
939. Toy Soldiers (1991)
940. Toy Story (1995)
941. Toy Story 2 (1999)
942. Traffic (2000)
943. Training Day (2001)
944. Tremors (1990)
945. Triplets of Belleville, The (2003)
946. Tron (1982)
947. Troy (2004)
948. Troop Beverly Hills (1989)
949. Trouble with Angels, The (1966)
950. True Lies (1994)
951. True Romance (1993)
952. Truman Show, The (1998)
953. Truth About Cats & Dogs, The (1996)
954. Tucker: The Man and His Dream (1988)
955. Twelve Monkeys (1995)
956. Twins (1988)
957. Twister (1996)
958. Two Girls and a Guy (1997)
959. U-571 (2000)
960. U.S. Marshals (1998)
961. Unbreakable (2000)
962. Uncle Buck (1989)
963. Under Siege (1992)
964. Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995)
965. Under the Tuscan Sun (2003)
966. Unfaithful (2002)
967. Unforgettable (1996)
968. Unforgiven (1992)
969. Unlawful Entry (1992)
970. Untouchables, The (1987)
971. Urban Legend (1998)
972. Usual Suspects, The (1995)
973. Van Wilder (2002)
974. Vanilla Sky (2001)
975. Varsity Blues (1999)
976. Vertical Limit (2000)
977. Virgin Suicides, The (1999)
978. Virtuosity (1995)
979. Volcano (1997)
980. Wag the Dog (1997)
981. Waiting for Guffman (1996)
982. Waking Ned Devine (1998)
983. WarGames (1983)
984. Waterboy, The (1998)
985. Waterworld (1995)
986. Wayne's World (1992)
987. We Were Soldiers (2002)
988. Wedding Planner, The (2001)
989. Wedding Singer, The (1998)
990. Weird Science (1985)
991. Whale Rider (2003)
992. What’s Eating Gilbert Grape (1993)
993. What Dreams May Come (1998)
994. What Lies Beneath (2000)
995. What Women Want (2000)
996. When Harry Met Sally... (1989)
997. While You Were Sleeping (1995)
998. White Christmas (1954)
999. White Fang (1991)
1000. White Men Can’t Jump (1992)
1001. White Squall (1996)
1002. Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
1003. Whole Nine Yards, The (2000)
1004. Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken (1991)
1005. Wild Things (1998)
1006. Wild Wild West (1999)
1007. Willow (1988)
1008. Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)
1009. Wizard, The (1989)
1010. Wizard of Oz, The (1939)
1011. Wolf (1994)
1012. Wonder Boys (2000)
1013. X Files, The (1998)
1014. X-Men (2000)
1015. X2 (2003)
1016. You Can Count on Me (2000)
1017. You've Got Mail (1998)
1018. Young Frankenstein (1974)
1019. Young Guns (1988)
1020. Your Friends & Neighbors (1998)
1021. Zero Effect (1998)
1022. 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)
1023. 101 Dalmatians (1996)
1024. 12 Angry Men (1957)
1025. 13th Warrior, The (1999)
1026. 2 Days in the Valley (1996)
1027. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
1028. 21 Grams (2003)
1029. 25th Hour (2002)
1030. 28 Days Later... (2002)
1031. 3 Ninjas (1992)
1032. 8 Mile (2002)
1033. 8MM (1999)

Review: "The Terminal"

Starring Tom Hanks, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Stanley Tucci
Directed by Steven Spielberg

3 stars (out of 4)

Human interest stories are nothing new for America's most famous director. Although Peter Biskind's claim that Spielberg created the blockbuster format may have some credibility, pinning the death of modern cinema on one man is a vast oversimplification of the problem in the hope of finding an understandable solution: Hollywood is a business, and although Spielberg has never failed to capitalize on this, he has in doing so created some of the most memorable moments on film in the past quarter-century. Close Encounters of the Third Kind (77) was a man torn apart; E.T. (82) was a boy learning of life and love; Schindler's List (93) was a plea for peace; and Saving Private Ryan (98) a thought-provoking, if somewhat truncated, meditation on the worth of one man's life.

It is from this history of human drama coupled with shrewd commercialism that The Terminal is born. Viktor Navorski (Tom Hanks) lands at JFK International Airport in January 2004, armed with a guidebook and sheet of undoubtedly phonetically spelled phrases like "Yellow taxi cab, please" and "Keep the change." The airport rejects his passport, though, at which point Viktor is taken to see Frank Dixon (Stanley Tucci), who works at JFK for the Department of Homeland Security. During his flight, Viktor's home nation of Krakozhia erupted in civil war, making it impossible for Viktor to obtain a visa and rendering him a citizen only of the planet and none of its countries. Dixon allows Viktor to wait in the international lobby/shopping mall, assuming Viktor will eventually try to leave the airport and become somebody else's problem. However, neither Dixon nor any of the security or retail employees were prepared for Viktor's next move.

He waited.

He didn't try to escape JFK, or rob anybody/thing, or kill anybody/thing, or try to cause any trouble. He simply waited and began to interact with the people in the lobby: janitor Gupta (Kumar Pallana), food service worker Enrique (Diego Luna), baggage handler Joe (Chi McBride), and flight attendant Amelia (Catherine Zeta-Jones).

Hanks brings the instant charm to Viktor he's shown in each of his characters since the early 1990s. Granted, it's a ripe situation: friendly foreigner in fish-out-of-water tale who befriends coworkers and gets the warm fuzzies for a beautiful woman that finds him irresistible. But Hanks brings a spark of dignity and class to a role other might've simply phoned in. He's really working here, and the payoff makes it look easy.

Fair warning, though: Amelia isn't your typical romantic-comedy love interest, even for Spielberg. Reeling from a lifetime of bad relationships and incurable jetlag, in constant pain because she puts herself there, Amelia is bound to do a hero, especially our hero, as much harm as good. However, when things begin to stretch and tear between the couple, it doesn't feel like either one's a Bad Guy or that they're simply fighting because the writers felt an obstacle was needed on page 100. Things simply happen, for better or worse, as they so often do in Spielberg's films.

Screenwriters Sacha Gervasi and Jeff Nathanson have crafted a small, enjoyable tale out of a one-off idea: what if you couldn't leave the airport? Gervasi penned The Big Tease in 1999, and Nathanson wrote both 2002's Catch Me If You Can and 1997's Speed 2: Cruise Control (ouch). The script here is sharp and breezy, if somewhat calculable, but it gets the job done well.

Although his resume tends to favor fantasy or sci-fi, Spielberg, like the best directors, has never contented himself working only in one genre. The Terminal, with an altered script and different helmer, could have been a mediocre or even crass romantic comedy, all cheap jokes and insubstantial relationships. But the film instead manages to make Viktor relatable while tiptoeing around outright pandering. Spielberg has crafted another world where people support each other through trials, a rare site to see done so well.

Thoughts I Have Had Today (6.14.04)

I need a job.

Why did Oprah pick Tolstoy's Anna Karenina for her latest book club selection? Most of her constituents probably needed a dictionary and roadmap just to make it through The Purpose-Driven Life. Does she hope to somehow take classic literature to the hordes of clueless middle-class Midwestern women who still say "You go, girl" and chortle? Man, I hate her.

I wonder if my general lack of interest in professional televised sports will make life harder or easier.

Talking with my aunt's boyfriend is always bizarre. I don't hate the guy at all; I just don't care that much about the whole situation.

Sometimes I'm so stone-frozen petrified of the fact that I'm moving in nine weeks to California, where I have no job waiting for me, that I start to realize that, yes, the next few years will probably be tougher than originally imagined/intended. There's a lot of fast water between here and 30.

Working with attractive women is like wearing comfortable shoes all day: one less thing to worry about.

Target is an okay place to go.

I really need a job. So much talent and schooling. All so I could ask, "And what two sides would you like with that steak?"

I need to eat more Chinese food.

A young black boy, no more than seven, knocked on my door this afternoon and asked me to "take him to swimming." I told him I couldn't, I had things to do. This disappointed him, but he moved on. I bet he's one of the kids that live upstairs, always running around and jumping on things. At least in my old apartment, the upstairs neighbors were reliable: parties every Friday and Saturday night, with bonus rounds in the bedroom above my roommate. But these kids are unstoppable.

Still, despite that aforementioned uncertainty about life, I'm still excited. I guess I have to be.

I can't believe how lucky I am.

Review: "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban"

Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint
Directed by Alfonso Cuaron

2.5 stars (out of 4)

It's not that Harry isn't trying to break out of the childish mold in which he's been cast; he's just not trying hard enough.

"There's more story in the book than on the movie screen," Potter's defendants are quick to offer. And undoubtedly there is: just ask any true Tolkien fan about the double edge of cinematic adaptation and literary abridgement for a real horror story. Then again, Tolkien's seminal novel influenced countless others, while J.K. Rowling only seems to influence the spending habits of her fans' parents.

Harry Potter and the Prizoner of Azkaban, the third film adaptation from what will be a seven-book series, finds our hero another year older, ready to begin another year at Hogwarts and embark on another adventure that will probably again wrap up around finals week in May. If only real life had been so kind.

Fed up with life at his aunt and uncle's house, Harry welcomes the return of school. However, he soon learns that evil wizard Sirius Black has escaped from Azkaban Prison and is on the hunt for Harry. Harry has no idea why Black wants to find him, but knowing Rowling and the series, there's probably more than one awkward expository scene headed our way.

The new year also brings a new professor, Lupin (David Thewlis), who, though kind and energetic, is obviously hiding something from the outset. Will his fate and Harry's coincide, I wonder?

Believe it or not, those are the only plot points I feel comfortable discussing without revealing too much of the story.

Cuaron (Y Tu Mama Tambien) takes the film and series in an enjoyable direction here: muted colors, genuinely frightening images and characters that are finally beginning to show some semblance of genuine depth take Azkaban a level above, as well as beyond, the previous two films.

That said, the film is still one for children, though the haunting images of the Dementors, guards of Azkaban prison, may keep out the very young ones. So many of the characters, from Harry's guardian family to playground nemesis Draco Malfoy (Tom Felton), seem to actually relish the two-dimensional plot progression that is the sole reason for their existence. Malfoy doesn't hate Harry for any reason other than Rowling knew Harry needed a human enemy to keep him busy, so Malfoy fumes and rants and wanders aimlessly from scene to scene.

And Cuaron, gifted though he is, can only do so much with a script inevitably culled from a more thorough novel that culminates in an anticlimactic time travel bit that doesn't hold a drop of water.

But who am I kidding? The prime audience for such fare doesn't care about such structural inadequacies or regrettable puns (thankfully few here). Harry saves the day and gets a new broom: all is once again right with the world.

Reasons Why, If You Visited Me Today Without Knowing I'm Living With My Sister (In A Totally Non-Arkansasian Way), You Might Think I Was A Little Gay:

In no particular order:

1. I sleep in a room whose walls are adorned with Italian posters for "Gone With The Wind" and "Some Like It Hot," Brad Pitt photos and Harry Potter paraphernalia.
2. My apartment has many issues of "Vanity Fair."
3. My apartment smells like potpourri (I'm working on it).
4. The bathrooms are female pharmacopias.
5. Special K in the pantry.
6. Jane Austen.

Review: "The Day After Tomorrow"

Starring Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Emmy Rossum
Directed by Roland Emmerich

3 stars (out of 4)

It's usually tough to pitch a global warming action pic; add to that the election in November and critics who've blasted the film as propaganda for Kerry, and you've got a fabricated political backlash not seen since, well, Mel Gibson at Easter.

But The Day After Tommorow gets the job done. It's not a great movie, but it is certainly a good one: effects-driven, structurally streamlined summer entertainment hearkening back to the halcyon days of the mid-1990s, when summer meant nothing more than Bill Pullman as a fighter-pilot president who saved the world. How far we've come in only eight years: now when the president flies a plane, we look past the perpetually confused grin for the smoke and mirrors.

Climatologist Jack Hall (Dennis Quaid) is the requisite Rogue Scientist With A Theory Everyone Ignores Until The Shit Hits The Fan. At a weather convention in New Delhi, Jack details his climate shift ideas and warns that another radical change could happen soon if preventative measures aren't taken. A scientist asks, "When could this happen? When?" Director and co-writer Roland Emmerich doesn't quite have the stones to have Jack retort something like, "The day after tomorrow, if we're not careful." Such obedience to convention, while still so self-aware, could have propelled The Day After Tomorrow into the cult-classic stratosphere. Oh, well.

Among the attendees is the U.S. vice president (Kenneth Welsh, looking actually Cheneyish), who pooh-poohs Jack's theory and labels him unstable. The film being what it is, we know the V.P. will eat his words soon enough.

And like that, it all starts to happen. Weather patterns form and grow and combine, pelting the Northern Hemisphere with torrential rain, snow and basketball-sized hail as a new ice age begins to settle in for the planet's northern third. Jack and wife Lucy (Sela Ward) are in D.C., but son Sam (Jake Gyllenhaal) is in New York City with an academic decathlon team to spend time with crush Laura (Emmy Rossum). Jack and two colleagues set out through the deadly weather to save Sam, who is trapped in the Manhattan Public Library with Laura, Brian (Arjay Smith) and a small group of others. We know Jack will live because he's undertaking the trip for selfless reasons; his colleagues, though, are still up for grabs with fate, which religiously follows the disaster genre's dictums.

Emmerich knows those rules well: young love will be discovered and tested; authority figures are ignorant of and arrogant toward their impending dooms; the good guys decide when they will die, if at all; etc. The point isn't that The Day After Tomorrow follows such rules but that it's completely honest about it. So many summer films are fluff claiming to be important drama or stirring social commentary (I'm looking at you on this one, Troy). But Tomorrow knows exactly what it's for, and that's to provide a predictable but no less enjoyable thrill ride, which it does quite nicely. Imagine George Lucas with a heart, or the Wachowski brothers with courage.

The jaw-dropping effects are a joy to watch. A group of tornadoes decimates downtown Los Angeles, while tidal waves crash over the Statue of Liberty and flood the city's streets. The huge storm cells blanket the planet, and the eye of the cell freezes whatever it touches, creating a harrowing sequence in which Jack and Sam (not yet reunited) are forced to run for cover from the plummeting temperature.

It's a movie full of enjoyable and disposable characters, and it probably won't be remembered for much except the effects and the day when Gyllenhaal stepped from the cult-idol status of Donnie Darko (01) into the bona fide mainstream. Yes, The Day After Tomorrow is mindless entertainment. But when you're having this much fun, who really cares?