Monday, October 31, 2005

My Favorite Friends Episodes

The One Where Ross Gets Chlamydia
In order to cheer him up after his latest failed relationship, Joey and Chandler take Ross for a night out that includes a hockey game, drinking, and an Asian brothel. When Ross goes to the hospital the next day to pick up his antibiotics, he runs into the prostitute he slept with the night before, and he invites her to get some coffee with the gang.

The One With All The Sophoclean Angst
Ross and Monica finally cave in to the sexual tension that's been plaguing them since the pilot episode when they sleep together at Phoebe's birthday party. Chandler's "Could you be any more incestuous?" line becomes an audience favorite. Ross contemplates gouging out his eyes and wandering the earth, but decides instead that everyone should act like the whole thing never happened.

The One Where Joey Becomes An Assassin
Stuck with few acting prospects and a growing stack of credit card bills, Joey contacts an extra he met on The Sopranos who's actually connected to organized crime. Joey becomes a low-level hitman and coke mule, ascending the ranks from button to lieutenant to made man in one of the show's most rewarding and gritty story arcs. Eventually, though, he gets out of the business by faking his own death, and blows all the money on an antique gumball machine, forcing him to return to his old job as waiter at the coffeehouse.

The One Where Rachel Becomes A Man
Apparently tired of waiting on her lobster to show up, Rachel opts for a sex change operation and a new way of life. She has the guys rent Dog Day Afternoon for inspiration, and the boys pull off the heist and get Rachel the money she needs for the procedure. She changes her name to Chad, and her character is played for the show's remaining four seasons by Angelina Jolie's brother.

The One With The Child Slavery Ring
When all her friends begin to have successful careers, Phoebe begins to feel despondent, as if she's wasted the past few years doing nothing but singing in the coffeehouse and working as a part-time masseuse. After she picks up a runaway in Central Park and manages to sell him for $1,000 plus a gift certificate at Target, Phoebe buys a windowless panel van and begins ferrying the city's homeless orphans to a shipping/distribution warehouse in the Village. Unfortunately, an NYPD task force swarms the building one day as part of a sting operation, and Phoebe is killed in the crossfire after fatally wounding three officers. No one speaks of her absence for the rest of the show's run.

4 Comments:

Can I borrow your brain for five years to help get my career launched? I'll return it in mint condition.

Oh, who am I kidding? I'd probably just let it sit around for four and a half years only to try and do something with it at the last minute.

Maybe you should keep your brain. You're utilizing it far better than I would have.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:40 AM, November 01, 2005  

you do have a pretty cool brain

it makes me laugh

By Blogger Cody Blair, at 7:53 AM, November 01, 2005  

You should write for HBO. Or Comedy Central. Or wherever. You're good.

By Blogger fried-neurons, at 12:36 PM, November 01, 2005  

It is funny how much you have to konw the show to write something so accurate, yet you seem to be belittling it.

Can I borrow your brain too? I would return it only slightly marred by hopps and bong resin at an undisclosed time.

By Blogger Master Baron Von Tuckenstein the First Esquire, at 3:15 PM, November 01, 2005  

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