Thursday, October 27, 2005

Notes From My Company's Health Benefits Meeting, 10.27.05

After the meeting, I sum up what I learned in less than 3 minutes for a coworker. The meeting itself lasted 70 minutes. What a way to start the day.

The woman running the meeting apologizes because she's never seen the PowerPoint presentation she's showing us. She says her company e-mailed it to her as she left her house this morning. Comforting. There's nothing you want to hear more from someone telling you about health insurance deductibles than "I don't know."

A few minutes into her spiel, she asks if there are any questions. Two people immediately speak up, and it's evident that they (1) weren't paying attention or (2) are clinically disabled. It's going to be a long meeting.

There are two kinds of people: those who ask constant, some might say needless, questions, and those who shut up and wait for the pertinent info. I found myself in the latter camp, a minority.

One guy, let's call him Julio, asks about employee discounts on cosmetic dermatology. This makes sense, because he could be the ugliest gay man I've ever seen. He looks like Michael Jackson and George Takei had a baby and then gave it up for adoption to a Korean nail salon.

One woman seems hell-bent on questioning everything. At every step. In every conversational break, or every time the speaker takes a breath. This makes us all uncomfortable.

I still feel far too young to have access to things like flexible spending accounts. I keep wondering if I can use it to buy a plasma TV, or fund a trip to Vegas some Wednesday at midnight.

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By Blogger Matthew, at 8:21 PM, November 21, 2005  

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