While on a hunting trip in South Texas, protecting local families from the dangers of roaming deer and doing his best to pointlessly slaughter wildlife that had heretofore done him no harm, Vice President Dick "Go F*** Yourself, Senator Leahy" Cheney shot and injured a fellow hunter.

Cheney's victim, millionaire attorney and old person Harry Whittington, was "peppered" on his right side with Cheney's shotgun pellets, many of which are actually granules made from the powdered bones of unwed mothers that Cheney sprinkles over his Total every morning, and as such probably didn't just cut Whittington's skin but actually made him feel as if the very fires of hell were tickling his groin. The owner of the property, Katharine Armstrong, said that Whittington is a regular visitor to the property, though this is the first time she's seen him hunting with the vice president.

For myself, I can't say whether the shooting was indeed an accident or if Cheney was trying to get rid of Whittington in a surprisingly literary manner, but still a pretty cold-hearted one, even for Cheney. He probably should have just waited for Whittington's mother to die and then taken him fishing. Works every time.