How To Convince Your Male Friends That You're One Of Them In Four Easy Steps

When conversing as a group, men will inevitably discuss sports, a subject that can be problematic for those that, say, can't remember all the obscure facts necessary in order to participate in a debate about pitching. If you find yourself in such a situation, here's a guide that might help.

1. When someone states an opinion, repeat it back to them as a doubtful question.
Example:
"Clemens is looking strong this year."
"You think he's looking strong?"

2. When someone states an opinion, voice your strong agreement.
Example:
"Clemens is looking strong this year."
"I'll say he is." [You might be tempted to say something as forceful as "Damn straight," but beginners should tread lightly.]

3. Always bring it back to the fantasy team.
Example:
"Clemens is looking strong this year."
"I know. I'm glad I've got him on my team."

4. Only show emotion when acceptable.
Approved movies for shedding a few silent tears: Rudy, Hoosiers, Rocky I-III.
Not approved: Youngblood.

That's it. The steps are deceptively simple: a minute to learn, a lifetime to master. Practice often, and one day you, too, might appear normal. Good luck.