A List Of Alternative Slogans For Abilene, Texas (Current Motto: "The Friendly Frontier"), That More Accurately Describe That (Un)Fair City

After prodding from the people that prod me, or one of them anyway, I humbly offer a list of appropriate phrases that should provide the reader with some idea of what life might be like in Abilene. Don't forget, I should be doing actual work instead of this.

1. Abilene: Enjoy Leaving!
2. Abilene: Have Fun Driving Through Us On Your Way To Nowhere!
3. Abilene: Because You Can Never Have Enough Churches
4. Abilene: Now There's A Starbucks!
5. Abilene: Why?
6. Abilene: Prone To Flooding
7. Abilene: Because Sometimes You Make Bad Choices
8. Abilene: Come For The Schools, Stay For The Poor Economy
9. The Occasionally Friendly Frontier
10. The Friendly City (Because The Frontier No Longer Exists)
11. Abilene: We Let Students Pick Our Slogan
12. The Genial Frontier
13. The Complacent Frontier
14. The Semi-Positive Frontier
15. Abilene: Everything Is Brown Here
16. Abilene: One Day At A Time
17. Abilene Schmabilene
18. Abilene: The Key City To A Door You Don't Want To Open
19. Abilene: More Crime Than You'd Think


"We may be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us."