Further news has developed on the penguin front. In a response to the conservative Christians using his documentary March of the Penguins as a morality tale and instrument for religious instruction, filmmaker Luc Jacquet has come out against them in a British newspaper. (We really should have seen this coming. After all, when was the last time American conservatives trusted the French?)

The documentary showed that penguins mate and raise a chick each year despite substantial hardships, including blizzards and lack of food. The adult penguins, once the chick has grown a little and its safety is its own concern, then leave, and will more than likely never see the chick again. The conservatives who latched onto the film as a model of family unity seemed to have missed this fact, so Jacquet reinforced it publicly.

“If you want an example of monogamy, penguins are not a good choice,” Jacquet said. “The divorce rate in emperor penguins is 80 to 90 percent each year. After they see the chick is OK, most of them divorce. They change every year.”

When news of the film's misinterpretation reached faith-based America, available religious leaders who weren't working on the dinosaurs-on-the-ark section of the Creation Museum promptly organized a multidenominational conference to discuss the matter. Jacquet's film has since been retitled Freedom March on all American prints. Responding to Jacquet's clearly hell-bound statements, Pennsylvania pastor Ray Mummert has this to say on behalf of his fair and balanced religion: "We've been attacked by the intelligent, educated segment of the culture." Truer words were never spoken, Ray. Keep up the good work.