"Look, we're gonna spend half the night driving around the Hills looking for this one party, and you're gonna say it sucks, and we're all gonna leave and we're gonna go look for this other party. But all the parties and all the bars, they all suck. I spend half the night talking to some girl who's looking around the room to see if there's someone who's more important she should be talking to, and it's like I'm supposed to be all happy 'cause she's wearing a backpack."
You know, a catchphrase or something I can spout at people or chant to myself to pick myself up when I'm down or explain myself to the world. Right now, all I can come up with is "This is the 80s, I'm down with the ladies," but it turns out that Tone Loc already took it. Curse his raspy manliness.
Maybe what you need is a theme song, like on Ally McBeal. Then you can walk around singing it all the time, and that's fun. No dancing baby visions, though. That's just creepy.
By 
Chez, at
1:38 PM, January 03, 2006
A theme song is a good idea, but then I'd have to either (a) hire a band to follow me everywhere and play it when I entered a room, or (b) have every building I will ever visit in my lifetime install a sound system with my song cued up and ready for my inevitable arrival. Not having the extra cash for the band or the ability to alter the time-space continuum, this might not work out. I think for now I should stick with the motto search, then upgrade to theme song.
And what would the theme song be?
By Dan Carlson, at
1:51 PM, January 03, 2006
I'm Dan Carlson. You gonna eat that?
I'm Dan Carlson. Now with bigger words.
I'm Dan Carlson. When the going gets rough, I get rowdy.
I'm Dan Carlson. I've been sober.
I'm Dan Carlson. When you're not looking, your grandmother winks at me.
I'm Dan Carlson. Yep, this is what TomKat's baby is going to look like.
I'm Dan Carlson. Working like I don't need money, loving like I've never been hurt, and dancing like no one's watching.
These are kind of lame, but I was going for quantity.
By 
, at
2:13 PM, January 03, 2006
They're not lame at all, they're great. And they're all true, which is even better.
But if TomKat's baby really does wind up looking like this, Tom will eat it or sacrifice it or something.
By Dan Carlson, at
2:17 PM, January 03, 2006
I think yesterday's post said it all
"I'm Not A Smart Man, But I Know What An STD Is"
By , at
5:42 PM, January 03, 2006
"I'm a stubborn cineaste, who the hell are you?"
By , at
7:40 AM, January 04, 2006
I have dibs on the "are you going to eat that" line, sorry.
Sealer04
By , at
10:05 PM, January 04, 2006
...a stone, a leaf, an unfound door; of a stone, a leaf, a door. And of all the forgotten faces....
O waste of loss, in the hot mazes, lost, among bright stars on this most weary unbright cinder, lost! Remembering speechlessly we seek the great forgotten language, the lost lane-end into heaven, a stone, a leaf, an unfound door. Where? When?
O lost, and by the wind grieved, ghost, come back again.
--Look Homeward, Angel
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
--John Stuart Mill
We have all read in scientific books, and indeed, in all romances, the story of the man who has forgotten his name. This man walks about the streets and can see and appreciate everything; only he cannot remember who he is. Well, every man is that man in the story. Every man has forgotten who he is. One may understand the cosmos, but never the ego; the self is more distant than any star. Thou shalt love the Lord thy God; but thou shalt not know thyself. We are all under the same mental calamity; we have all forgotten our names. We have all forgotten what we really are. All that we call common sense and rationality and practicality and positivism only means that for certain dead levels of our life we forget that we have forgotten. All that we call spirit and art and ecstasy only means that for one awful instant we remember that we forget.
--G.K. Chesterton
We were, for the briefest of moments, something greater than the sum of our uncertain parts; we were youth itself, in all its painful glory and sharp joy.
--August Van Zorn
--Stephen King
Film lovers are sick people.
--Francois Truffaut
