Classics Of Modern Literature As Updated And Abridged By Eugene Peterson
Romeo and JulietSo this boy and girl were in love, but it ended badly.
To Kill A MockingbirdDon't be all mean to people you don't know. Swap presents and be polite.
Lord of the FliesThese boys were stranded on an island when their plane crashed, and it ended badly.
Finnegan's WakeThis Irish man died.
The Catcher in the RyeA teenage boy was sad, but he kind of got over it.
Fahrenheit 451The government burned everybody's books. Drag.
Little WomenThese four girls did stuff. One died.
The Adventures of Huckleberry FinnThis boy and a slave rode the river. I think the boy's dad showed up at one point.
Of Mice and MenThese two guys lived rough lives. One died.
6 Comments:
I read some of those. they were good.
If only writing were so easy. I wish. Still, you're absolutely right. I have been showing Romeo and Juliet to my students and I am still amazed at the brilliant plot structure. Tell the audience what's going to happen before the play even begins and then start the show. You've got to be pretty arrogant about your story telling abilities to pull that crap. Moulin Rouge and American Beauty both do it as well.
That's what I want to do in my next play. Spoil the whole thing and then dazzle 'em, so that even though you know it's comming, the clown still gets it! It can start like this, "If you knew that a pie was heading your way, would you duck? Bo-bo didn't. He turned around and took it like a clown." And then proceed to tell Bo-bo's story and why he got hit in the face a pie. By the way it's an explosive pie that detonates on his face sending peices of bloody flesh soring across the room onto Children's neatly pressed white shirts and party dresses.
Kyle, I don't know you, but give back Dan's "dave" t-shirt, and then quit your teaching job. You are a disturbed individual not fit to be shaping (or destroying) the minds of our nation's youth.
Wow, that genuinly hurt my feelings. I'll get over it because, like you said, you don't know me. I do however wonder what I said that prompted such a hateful message. Dan, do you know this guy, or is he just one of these guys that goes around to different blogs and craps on everybody.
lastly, I'm going to continue destroying the nation's youth for another year or so until I go back to grad school. Then hopefully I'll start to destroy the minds of college students. I've thought about giving Dan his shirt back, but haven't made up my mind on that one.
Yeah, I'm with Kyle on this one. Cody, you should probably only crap on people you know, like me. When you get to know Kyle, then you can bust his balls. Kyle was cool enough to let me hang around his house freshman year, even though I made fun of some drunk guy who broke his window, an act I do not remember but for which I have since apologized. He's also one of the few liberals in Texas public education, so we should let him do what he wants.
Asking To Be Crapped On,
Dan
Okay, Cody was joking. We settled it. I'm a douchebag.
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